Natural Militia

Fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! I loved the third stanza especially, that's where a fantastic point is made. (Whether you mean for me to get this or not...) A person who thinks ...

First I would like to say that this is AMAZING. It's so mysterious, and poetic, love it! :) The plot a little confusing, I'm not going to lie, but the ...

SPECIFIC REFERENCES: "She was always the one to go on the humongous roller coasters. With twists and loops and big drops." Why do you have that first period? You don't ...

This story is fantastic! You do have a slight issue with tenses in a few situations, so you should watch out for that. For example: "He tackles Sophia, forcing him ...

The first line of the story is supposed to grab viewers, and I don't feel grabbed. In fact, I feel shoved away. It's a run-on, and difficult to read. In ...

Beginning I don't like our beginning, especially your first line. Your first line is supposed to captivate readers. It's boring, it doesn't really explain where they are and it takes ...

Grammar Nazi: (line 3)You've made sure (line 4)freshly curled hair [s]nice[s] neatly placed snatch your backpack with your letter tucked inside your pocket. Rephrase this. I'm not going to do ...